Resources

Many resources were used throughout the writing of 100 DAYS | Dying to Tell His Story. They were important to my father’s ministry and his work on death and dying and are offered below:

Protestant Episcopal Church. The Book of Common Prayer and Administration of the Sacraments
New York: Church Hymnal Corporation, 1979
https://www.churchpublishing.org

This book will be useful to Christians of many denominations. Much of the book comes from Scripture and it offers beautiful and helpful words for Christian services, moments of quiet contemplation or prayer.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. On Death and Dying
New York: Collier / Toronto: Macmillan, 1993
https://www.ekrfoundation.org

Written in the late 1960s, this iconic book became a textbook read in every medical school in the world, and its messages informed a generation of those responsible for institutional end-of-life care. Its findings are as relevant today as ever.

Five Wishes
https://www.agingwithdignity.org

Five Wishes takes the guessing out of care and comfort choices at the end of life. It is a legal document that guides you through planning before a health crisis. This was the first tangible tool my father used to speak with me and my family about his final wishes 20 years before he died.

Wendt Center for Loss and Healing
Formerly St. Francis Burial Society
https://www.wendtcenter.org

My father founded the St. Francis Burial Society with The Reverend William Wendt in the 1970s. It was a unique program that provided low cost, dignified alternatives to the more expensive practices of the unregulated funeral industry of that time. Their goal was to focus burial rites around the needs of dying persons and their families.

Sermon by Terry Fullam, “Life on Wings.”
https://www.lifeonwings.org

A riveting sermon by the late Terry Fullam about the mighty eagle and its symbolism in the life and death of a Christian. My father first heard this sermon as a subscriber to Terry’s teachings decades ago and it became well-known in our household growing up. As Dad was dying I played the audio tape of the sermon for him and tears of joy rolled down his cheek.

The Book of Occasional Services
New York: Church Hymnal Corporation, 1991
https://extranet.generalconvention.org/staff/files/download/21033

This liturgical resource provides worship services for many types of important and widely used services that are not included in the Book of Common Worship. We found inspiration and prayers in it for use during a sunrise gathering at the beach when my family and I released my brother’s ashes out to sea.

Hank Dunn. Hard Choices for Loving People: CPR, Artiﬁcial Feeding, Comfort Measures Only, and the Elderly Patient
Landsdowne, VA: A & A, 2009
https://www.hankdunn.com

A nursing home and hospice chaplain for 30 years, author Hank Dunn clarifies issues surrounding end-of-life-decisions in an easy-to-read format. This book offers a practical approach to dealing with issues that accompany an illness.

Richard Bode. First You Have to Row a Little Boat: Reﬂections on Life and Living
New York: Warner, 1993
https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Bode/e/B000APAJMO

“The truth is that I already know as much about my fate as I need to know. The day will come when I will die. So the only matter of consequence before me is what I will do with my allotted time. I can remain on shore, paralyzed with fear, or I can raise my sails and dip and soar in the breeze.” - Richard Bode
Dad loved this book.

Paula J. Carlson and Peter S. Hawkins. Vol. 1 Listening for God: Contemporary Literature and the Life of Faith
Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 1994
https://www.amazon.es/Listening-God-Reader-Vol-Contemporary/dp/0806627158

This collection of stories and essays helps readers investigate how life and faith merge in surprising ways and places.

Richard Rohr. “One Minute”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sQEB4qI4oo
For more on Richard Rohr see the Center for Action and Contemplation https://www.cac.org

ONE The Movie is compared to the The Secret as holding a key to life’s meaning. This video is a short clip. After my father died, I couldn’t understand the longing to be back in the midst of the power of his death. I stumbled upon Richard Rohr’s one-minute answer to the question, “If you had the entire world’s attention for one minute, what would you say?” which held the key for me.

Sermon by Henri Nouwen. “Disciples of the Beloved”
YouTube, 2009
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFWfYpd0F1 8

One of the greatest spiritual guides of the 20th century, Henri Nouwen teaches that being a child of God doesn't reside on what we do but on who we are, and that to be holy doesn't reside so much on what we do for God but on what God does for us. Watch it – you won’t be disappointed.

Henri Nouwen. Turn My Mourning into Dancing: Moving through Hard Times with Hope
Edited by Timothy Jones. Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2001
https://henrinouwen.org

An internationally renowned priest and author, respected professor and beloved pastor, Henri Nouwen wrote 39 books on the spiritual life. Many of them graced bookshelves and nightstands in our home growing up. The grief I felt after my father’s death was soothed by Nouwen’s words in Turn My Mourning into Dancing, which I find myself returning to again and again.

Henri Nouwen. Our Greatest Gift A Meditation on Dying and Caring
San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1994
https://henrinouwen.org

I was given this special book by a friend from church many months after my father died. After several meetings to discuss my grief and the bewilderment I felt after my father’s death, my friend said, “I think you are ready for this.” He was right.

Frederick Buechner. PBS interview at the Washington National Cathedral, May 5, 2006
Transcribed in Religion and Ethics Newsweekly
https://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2006-05/05/may-5-2006-frederick-buechner/15314

“What makes me a believer is that from time to time, there have been glimpses I’ve had which have made me suspect the presence of something extraordinary and beyond the realm of the immediate. You encounter the holy in various forms, which, unless you have your eyes open, you might not even notice.” - Frederick Buechner

If you’re looking for something deep and rich by one of the best storytellers of our time, Frederick Buechner delivers. My father was profoundly influenced by Buechner, who has written more than 30 books, inspiring readers to seek the grace in their lives.

John R. Claypool. Tracks of a Fellow Struggle Living and Growing through Grief
New Orleans: Insight Press, 1995
https://www.amazon.com/Tracks-Fellow-Struggler-Handle-Grief/dp/0876803486

As we were preparing for my brother’s funeral after his sudden death, my mother was up early reading this book. Claypool lost his own daughter at the tender age of ten and wrote a personal reflection about the way out of loss and grief. It so inspired us, we made hundreds of copies of the page in the book and handed them out to the standing-room-only crowd of people that came to honor my brother’s life at his funeral.

Deborah Herzog Alexander. Without-end
https://www.without-end.com

Without-end creates fine-crafted heirloom pillows from favorite clothing of a loved one. Placed on a bed, couch or favorite chair, Without-end memorial pillows can become part of the remembering landscape of our lives. These custom creations are wonderful for holding tightly or for giving as a gift when words are hard to find. Each of my family have Without-end pillows made from my father’s favorite flannel shirts and his soft wide-rail corduroy pants. They are cherished and warm reminders of a life well lived.